The Primal Instinct !!!

Not long ago i had a conflict with my Inner self, I spent many sleepless nights thinking what to do with life. I dont understand , getting graduated and earning a 6 digit salary is enough?? Is that it?? These days im thinking too much about my Aims and Aspirations i once had when life was right as rain.

So, the middle of the night i get up and start writing my Bucket List (I guess this is the result of watching Morgan Freeman in 'The Bucket List') ;)
I get up and grabs a Pen and a Paper, yeah you heard me correct, im more of a Pen and Paper person than taking notes in my Android phone. Its all about the comfort.. God i miss 90's and early 2000.. Much simpler times.

Writing Bucket List was pretty easy for me, back then all i wanted to do was Learn musical instruments,See the world, and eat great food all over the world, and get graduated and make mom n papa super happy !!! 
so except for one or two, i never did many things i wanted to do in life, but who cares ,they were my dreams of life, im never really a person who gets scared of Dreaming Big, but when i see people around me many of them wants to 'play safe' in life, they are even scared of dreaming big, I just dont understand, should i be scared too?? should i 'Play Safe' ??

I guess this is the age where people will have a lot of questions and answers to only few.I wish my life is like a movie you know, 
first half - Im struggling college kid with many challenges,
second half - Life screws me up, but i fight and be famous and  filthy rich and has a super hot girlfriend... End of story ;)
Ahhh !!! who does not like happy endings and a hot girlfriend... for us, life should be like a celebration.

But, sometimes i get too scared about life, there are many questions like , will i be able to live upto my parents expectations? and all...
but im never a person who worries about what the society thinks about me, Just like many of my best friends who live their lives on their own terms, guess that is the reason they are my best friends. Im a kind of a person who finds inspiration from the people around me. Im never a great follower of Gandhi or Hitler. though these great people are great i find them too 'Scripted' ... You may be thinking what the hell im talking about, Dint i tell you im 'confused'? :-P
but im glad im like this, i believe true inspiration comes from observing true people and their real lives (than reading about them in books). For example my father, he s my superhero of all time, he has the patience of a saint, if im like him i would have been a President already.

if im not wrong everyone who is reading this would have thought about 'Change the world' atleast ones in your life. Well, im no exception. Some revolutionary ideas occurs to me alot when im taking long showers. Yeah i know, but there is nothing much to do in a bathroom except to think :-P
Some of those ideas are real crazy like me becoming like Hitler and save my country from these politicians . cut off the people heads for rape and corruption, and every plan involves an atom bomb on pakistan :-D (crazy huh)

You can ask me "What happened, why i did not do any of the things i said"?
I guess Life happened.. Last 5years were never easy for me, Life really tested me, through difficulties i came through, i prospered... and i rose from the ashes, that marked the rebirth of the Mighty Me.. In my difficult times one thought really made me stand up no matter what . i thought "This is my test, im supposed to prove myself" ... I did get through, im whatever im today because of my will power. There's nothing better than that.. But, one thing i made it clear to myself.
Life is never easy ,there are no happy endings, not yet anyways, unless you accept the challenge and give your fucking best..


Problems are common to everyone, But i want to be a Survivor, The Last Man Standing.. I always believe that the minute you give up is the minute you lost.
I guess i have a way about myself, I think im in the wild all lost, But i choose to be a Lion than a Jackal, Always hunts the challenge , Destroy everything that stands between me and my Destiny... why? a person should believe in his Primal Instincts and connect to his inner self to test his real potential... and i like to do that beacause im lost in the wild and i have to 'Survive'....


Among all this stuff being single sucked, people say being single is the best thing and crap but i want see how a relationship works so i could enjoy being single better, c'mon who among us did not want to be a couple with a super hot girl. (except for people who got married, sadly your life is over :-P ) .. who are we kidding!! anyways i have nothin much to speak here since i dont know much,... sucks, being single suckkkks !!!

So, i finally i threw my "The Bucket List" away and went back to sleep ....me getting up with hell of a headache after such nightout is one hell of a story..
so, the great plan of what to do with life ended in more questions...

Getting a job and supercool salary is enough ?
Did i make my parents proud ?
What happened to "change the world" ?
I got too much involved in Surviving, did i forget about the Lion in me who Hunts ?
Is it even possible to see the world ?
When i wanted to learn music why the fuck i did not ? :-P
what to do with life?
will i die Single?

FUCK !!! i should have simply slept rather than think... 
Am i the only one like this??

Moral of the story -
Dont think much you guys, do what your heart tells you to do, you wanna say someone "Fuck You", just say it - keeps the frustration out.
Wanna do something weird, do it...you'll surely laugh about it later.
You wanna say a girl you like her? just dont say it infront of friends, because you dont want to look stupid if she rejects..by chance if she rejects you, you can make up a story that she proposed and you rejected :-P 
well one final thing, dont give Advice to anyone., because people know their Life better than you, they dont need you, so stay away...
so i guess that's it, bye you guys..take care.
(Oh, girls say these things sweet like tata, bubye :-D)